Transitions

All this ending has been hard – saying goodbye to my classmates and teachers and to the wonderful daycare providers at the Inburgering daycare and the babysitter who takes Liam on Fridays when there daycare isn’t open – knowing that in most cases I won’t see them again, that the ties aren’t close enough to survive the change of circumstance, even though many of us have spent three hours a day, three days a week together since September.

In the case of my classmates I came late into an already formed group, starting at the ROC at a level they’d worked hard to get to and avoiding the issues they’d had with absent teachers the previous year, something that seemed to have formed a bond between them. Not to mention for the first three-month block everyone sat in the same place every day – it took me to the end of the block to even learn some names. The last two blocks, when they mixed two groups together, were better and I started to make some friends from my group, a few of whom I’m sure I’ll keep in touch with.

In the case of the daycare, not much I can do – even though I like it, I’m no longer eligible to use it. I’ll probably visit, but its not the same. And well I may ask the sitter to sit for Liam again, it certainly won’t be every week. It’s hard really getting to like people and then having circumstances change.

What probably makes it harder is all these things are ending without anything to take their place, at least not immediately. I don’t have a job yet, and I’ve pretty much given up looking since, well, I’m pregnant again, due at the end of January. After our Canadian vacation, I could only work about four months before I’d have to go on maternity leave, and while I’m not required by law to tell anyone I’m pregnant before they hire me, I’d feel bad about not doing so. And besides, I don’t want to only take the four months of Dutch leave since there was no way I was willing to leave Liam in daycare at three months old and I don’t think I could do that for the new baby either. If I already had a job, and had had one for a year, I could take unpaid parental leave, but that needs to be agreed to by the employer and it seems like a bit much to ask. So, unless I can find a four-month job, I’m looking at being “just” a stay-at-home mum until the baby is born.

The problem is is that I’m already finding that I’m not cut out for it. I suck as a housewife, at least at the cleaning bit – at least I do keep everyone fed, and well. But days and weeks stretching out of no change of routine except that provided by Liam seem unimaginably boring, and I don’t deal well with boredom.

Oh well, before that hits we’ve got our vacation at home – that at least won’t be boring! I’m so looking forward to seeing everyone again.